Is AdultFriendFinder legit? Only if you can follow these 4 rules.

As one of the true OGs of online dating, AdultFriendFinder has a sizeable community of singles and non-monogamous users looking for steamy fun. But that doesn’t mean using the site is necessarily straightforward. In fact, AFF, as its users call it, has been online for so long that its web interface can feel dated and counterintuitive, with key features requiring you to navigate a whole manner of menus and sub-menus. 

Making the most of AFF means a certain amount of trial and error, or at least some guidance from someone with an intimate knowledge of the spicy hookup platform.

That’s why we’ve outlined four essential tips below to get you up and running on AFF and help connect with more people for more kink-filled fun. That said, it also helps to keep an open mind about it all. If you enter AFF with a narrow idea of exactly what you want, you’ll likely be disappointed. But if you start your search with an open-minded curiosity and just go along for the ride (pun very much intended), you can discover new things about yourself — and maybe even your pleasure points — in the process.

Here are four essential steps for getting the most out of your AdultFriendFinder experience:

Fill out your full AFF profile 

Sure, this is an obvious step with any and every online dating service, but it’s even more important on AFF because the site doesn’t entirely rely on a carousel-style presentation of dating profiles like other apps. Everything from your age to your gender to your sexuality to your list of personal kinks can help make you more discoverable to other AFF members, so the less you fill out, the harder it is for the site to make your profile discoverable. 

This is true even if your personal kink list is short or leans towards the conventional, or if it’s long and girthy and leans towards the exotic; trust us when we say there are people out there who are looking for the very same quirks and kinks and sexuality specifics, so it’s worth taking your time to be specific and details. It will pay off in the long run.

Also, don’t sleep on videos. Unlike many dating sites that allow only profile pictures, AFF permits its members to upload short videos to their profiles. This is a fantastic way of showing others that you’re a real person — as opposed to a bot, which you’ll find plenty of on AFF — and also helps you show off some personality. Just be wary of putting nude content upfront in your profile. You can do this if you wish, of course — AFF is all about the NSFW content — but putting that kind of content out there does raise privacy issues.

Verify your AFF account as soon as possible

AdultFriendFinder throws up very few barriers when you’re creating your account. That makes it very easy for anyone to join, but it also means there is a huge amount of spam and bots clogging up the platform. To combat this, they’ve also created a profile verification system using the Confirm ID service. 

It requires you to share government ID for cast-iron verification, but the benefits to your profile will give you major peace of mind. It means photo authentication, age confirmation, and location verification, all of which help others trust that your profile is authentic. When the process is complete, you’ll see a blue checkmark beneath your profile photo, just to the right of your username, which helps people identify your profile at a glance and boosts your visibility in search results, as search results prioritize verified users.

Be selective with your search criteria

If you use the site’s search function, you’ll find that you can be extremely specific and selective. And if you know exactly who and what you want, by all means, narrow your search, but if you’re on AFF to be surprised, it’s also worth being less selective from time to time.

For example, if you know you want an in-person date for next week, it obviously makes sense to narrow your location search to people who live near you. But what if you don’t know exactly what you want, or if you’re open to a sultry chat with a stranger half a world away? In that case, distance is irrelevant, and you should consider turning that filter off.

On the other hand, there are quite a few filters that are turned off by default that we actually recommend you turn on. For example, the default profile filter shows you all people who have bothered to upload photos, but while that’s a good start, it’s not enough to help you wade through the huge number of users. We strongly recommend narrowing it down to Verified/Confirmed users, since those people all proved their identity the same way you did (see above). That way, you can trust that your search results and potential connections are 100 percent legit. It’s another means of filtering out the spam.

Another useful filter is the Last Visit, which by default is set to “All.” We recommend specifying accounts that have been active within the last month. That’s because lots of people sign up to AFF then never bother checking back in. Other users go inactive for weeks or even months at a time. If you stick with the default “All” setting, you risk messaging accounts that you might never get a reply from.

Explore the live-chat communities

AdultFriendFinder isn’t a traditional dating website, so don’t use it like one. The search-and-swipe dating app method is tried and true, but it’s also a bit played out, and one of AFF’s biggest strengths is its larger community offerings. There’s more to it than swiping — or should we say swinging? — left or right.

There are lots of forums to explore, all based around common interests (though you should know that some of these interests — or kinks — are not so common), or you can venture into a user’s livestream and interact with them and others there. AFF even has a dedicated Stories section, where users can share their memories or try their hand at writing erotica. That’s all well and good for anyone with a knack for the written word, but if you’re more visual, you can set up a webcam stream and invite others to tune in. 

For all of the above, AFF tracks not only which stories/streams/group chats are new but also which are trending, making it very easy to jump into a popular discussion or keep up with the latest site news.

Upgrade your AFF membership tier

As with other dating sites and apps, you only get the most out of AFF when you sign up for a paid membership. It is entirely possible to use AFF and interact without handing over your credit card information, but the site’s best features and functions are paywalled. And it has to be said that the advantages — visibility, communication options, and site functionality are all just too good to ignore.

Gold and VIP members receive special icons on their profiles, and these profiles are given priority in every search, regardless of the criteria. Because there are thousands of potential profile options for almost every search criterion that isn’t location-based, it’s very difficult to stand out from the crowd on AFF as a free user.

Additionally, if you fork out for the upgraded VIP membership, you’ll unlock an entire section dedicated exclusively to VIPs. It’s the dating site equivalent of entering the velvet-roped area of a night club; you’ll find the most glamorous people hiding there. VIP members even get additional points to spend on digital gifts or lavish on live streamers who catch your eye. This is another great way of standing out from the crowd. 

The learning curve on AdultFriendFinder is steeper than most other dating sites, and much steeper than most dating apps, but if you follow the above tips and you’re willing to experiment, you’ll encounter more than a few fun and sexy surprises along the way. 

​Mashable